Lenten Challenge, Day 23: No

Saying we have a big family is a gross understatement.

My boys have 8 grandparents, 11 great-grandparents, 15 aunts and uncles, a hoard of great aunts and uncles, a bigger hoard of cousins, etc., etc., etc. And that's not counting the friends we count as family. It's why our holidays are crazy, why simple "family-only" birthday celebrations turn into a full house of people.

I'm not complaining here. I know how blessed we are, how blessed my boys are to have SO many people who love them whole-heartedly. I can't imagine our lives any other way. But having that much family also means a lot of time on our calendar, and over the years, I have finally learned it's okay to say "no" to the occasional family or friend invitation.

When our calendars are getting a little full, Ryan and I schedule in a "Day of Nothing." And when I say "schedule in," I mean we actually put it on our calendar, so if we get an invite, we can look on the calendar and say, "Sorry, we're booked." Before kids, a day of nothing meant sleeping in and staying in our jammies all day watching movies. It looks pretty much the same now, minus the sleeping-in part, plus the occasional "we have to get these stir-crazy boys out of the house" excursion. A day of nothing helps us pause, regroup, and find some level of sanity again amidst our busy schedules.

Saying "no" doesn't mean you don't want to spend time with those people, it just means you need some time for yourself. And time for yourself is important. Saying "no" is important.

When can you say "no" and have your next "Day of Nothing"?

Some recent "Day of Nothing" snuggles.

Lenten Challenge, Day 22: Shadow

I just recently re-watched the old school  Disney classic, Peter Pan, with Gavin and laughed right along with him when Peter loses his shadow because, as Gavin would say, "That's silly. You can't lose your shadow."

It's true, isn't it? Shadows are these distorted versions of our past that linger behind us. A shadow is always there, and there isn't a thing you can do to get rid of it. Just like the things we've done, or said, or thought in the past. They happened. They're over. There's nothing we can do to change them.

Geez...I didn't start out this post that depressing, did I?

That's just it, though. Dwelling on situations I might have handled differently in the past, or disparate words I could have spoken in an argument doesn't help any situation. It just makes it more depressing. It doesn't change the past. It just makes me feel inadequate. And it certainly doesn't make for a successful future. It prevents me from living in the moment.

It's only when we can put those shadows of our past behind us that we can truly make a change in the future.

Lenten Challenge, Day 21: Night

Oh, nighttime. I've seen a lot of you in the last year. More than I've wanted to, frankly. Such is the life of a new parent, right? What parent out there hasn't heard, "So...you getting much sleep?" in the weeks (or months) that follow the birth of a child?

As much as I'm happy those middle-of-the-night wake-up calls are slowly subsiding, I'll miss them just a little bit, too, because it's in those moments that I soak my babies in the most. When all the world is asleep, and the sound of their soft, sleepy sighs seem loud in comparison to the quiet that surrounds you. The way their warm little bodies melt into your arms because they know they're safe there. It's intoxicating.

It's a light in the dark of night.

There is always light in the darkness. There is always something good to see.

You just have to look for it.

Lenten Challenge, Day 20: Bless

How appropriate that today's word is "Bless." Four years ago today, at 12:40 p.m., I was blessed with my first son, Gavin.

I fell for him wholly at first sight, and that little monkey has continued daily to bless my life in goofy, sweet and unexpected ways. I am still in awe that I was chosen to be his Momma.

What I didn't expect was how awesome it would be to watch him bless others, too. To listen to him make someone laugh, I mean really laugh, or to see him show kindness to a friend who hasn't been so kind in return...those are true blessings.

So, happy golden (4 on the 4th!) birthday to my boy with a heart of gold. I love you more.

Lenten Challenge, Day 19: Thirst

My first memory of the beach is not one of swimming, or looking for seashells, or feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin. It's of thirst.

My family and I had spent the day at the beach in Florida, and I'd neglected to drink anything all day because I was a kid, and I was too busy building sand castles and trying out my new swim goggles to watch fish. The end of our beach day came, and as I got in our minivan rental, I realized how thirsty I was. I can still feel the dryness of my lips and taste the salt from the ocean when I think about it. I ended up chugging an entire bottle of hot water that had baked in the greenhouse that was our minivan the whole day. It's the first time I ever remember being thirsty.

The older I got, the more I realized how blessed I am to live in a place where clean water is so ridiculously plentiful. I've taken it for granted most of my life...still do sometimes. But a little organization called Water.org has helped me see that I am a part of a minority when it comes to clean water. Here are a few stats from their Web site:

---

More than 3.4 million people die each year from water, sanitation, and hygiene-related causes. Nearly all deaths, 99 percent, occur in the developing world.

---

Lack of access to clean water and sanitation kills children at a rate equivalent of a jumbo jet crashing every four hours.

---

Of the 60 million people added to the world's towns and cities every year, most move to informal settlements (i.e. slums) with no sanitation facilities.

---

780 million people lack access to an improved water source; approximately one in nine people.

---

"[The water and sanitation] crisis claims more lives through disease than any war claims through guns." 

---

An American taking a five-minute shower uses more water than the average person in a developing country slum uses for an entire day.

---

Over 2.5X more people lack water than live in the United States.

---

More people have a mobile phone than a toilet.

Sad, isn't it? And ridiculously preventable. Check out their Web site for more info on how you can partner with them to not only quench thirst, but also provide sanitation to the world's most needy.

Lenten Challenge, Day 18: Leave

I've been to Russia twice now, which means I've had to leave Russia twice now. Not just leave Russia, but leave an orphanage full of faces pleading for me not to go.

It really is amazing what happens on one of those trips. I've only spent a total of 12 days with these kids, but I love them like they're my own. I care about their hopes and their dreams. I want them to succeed. I want them to feel wanted. And cherished. And important. I want them to feel the love my own kids get to feel every single day.

What's ironic is that's the easy part. Falling in love with them in such a short time and knowing they feel how hard you've fallen. That's cake. The hard part is leaving. The hard part is knowing those kids won't get this kind of love for another year...at least.

That's not just the hard part, that's the devastating part.

But this kind of love? It's so worth it.

Lenten Challenge, Day 17: Prophet

I have to admit...today's word had me stumped. With most of the others, something easily came to mind that I could write about, but prophet? Notsomuch.

Probably because "prophet" seems like such an archaic word today. It's rarely used, and when it is, it's almost always in reference to 2000 or more years ago. Word Nerd Alert: I ended up looking up the Hebrew root for prophet, and found that its two-letter root refers to "openness," because to "receive transcendental wisdom, one must make oneself open." (Thank you, Wikipedia.)

Now that got me thinking.

Prophets way back in the day were the ones who shook things up, right? Because they pointed out what everyone was doing wrong. They were open to challenging the way things were and then fixing the problem.

So how open is the church as a whole today? Are the loudest voices we hear about love, or about hate? Are they about openness and inclusion, or close-mindedness and seclusion? These are obviously rhetorical questions, because I think we can all name an idiotic church or two that scream messages of hate on huge billboards and picket signs at funerals. And they're the ones everyone remembers. They're the ones everyone hears.

But if they're going to pile on the hate, and close-mindedness, and judgy-I'm-better-than-you-ness, the rest of us need to be doubling the dose of love and openness, and changing of the status quo.

The rest of us need to be prophet-like and shake things up a bit. Now...who's with me?!