This is my last week of maternity leave and my constant prayer has been for time to slow the hell down. Six months have passed by in what feels like six minutes and I can't help but feel as though the little moments I wanted to savor seem to be slipping through my fingers.
I've been focused on specific moments I want to remember--like the warmth of Bennett sleeping on my chest, or his joyful, unexpected giggle. I want to put them up on a shelf somewhere and cash them in later, when years have passed and these days feel like they're from another lifetime. Unfortunately, time doesn't work that way.
Occasionally, though, we get a very rare "re-do," and time reverses for a bit to remind us how precious it really is. Last night, I was lucky enough to get one of those moments with my oldest.
Gavin was a little stuffy yesterday with what we thought was allergy-related sinus stuff until he woke up three hours after bedtime with a croupy cough and fever. We tried a hot shower, cool air, a humidifier, etc., but as soon as he'd lie down, the coughing fits would start again. The only way he could get any sleep was to be upright, so I held my long-legged, lanky boy in our living room recliner until he fell asleep against my chest, just like he did when he was my baby.
For a moment, my first born got to be my baby again, and I knew my prayer for time to slow down had been more than answered...it had been one-upped.
We've got plenty more memories to make in this family, and that's what I'm going to focus on. And if we get to take an occasional trip back in time...well, that's just icing on the cake.