I wrote these letters to the boys last Saturday and didn't get them posted because...surprise! Baby Doc decided to make his entrance a little earlier than expected. I still wanted to post them though because they're my last musings as a mom of one, my last thoughts on being pregnant, and the last time I wouldn't fully understand how much my heart could grow overnight.
Gavin,
It feels so strange that this is my last letter to you as my only child. This week, we'll meet your brother! I'm so excited for you. To have a sibling, to be a big brother, to have someone to commiserate with when your crazy parents are embarrassing you.
At the same time, I'm a little sad. Your whole world is about to change, and as much as we've tried to prepare you, it's going to be a big adjustment. We've read books, talked about babies, asked for your help washing the baby clothes and getting out the swing, bassinet and other baby things. You've even practiced rocking your "friends" (stuffed animals you sleep with every night) in the baby swing, tucking them in, soothing them when they're "upset," etc. Still, you've had us all to yourself for three whole years, and all that is about to change.
But trust me when I say that I'm just as nervous for myself, too. Before you were born, I was sad to think about it not being just me and Daddy anymore. But then you arrived and when I looked at you, I thought, "Oh, yeah...you. Of course, it's you." You were always meant to be a part of our family. So the sadness I'm feeling now--for you, for "us," it will be gone soon, replaced by that familiar feeling of your brother's presence. Because he's always been meant for us, too.
And I can't wait to see my two boys together. You'll have so much to teach Baby Doc. Just this week you impressed me with your "dressing yourself" skills. Usually, you get something backwards, or inside out, but lately, you're getting things right more often than not.
You've become just generally more independent in most ways, except for going potty in the middle of the night. You have a special clock in your room that tells you when you can get up in the morning. When bunny is sleeping, you're to be in bed. When bunny wakes up, you can get up, too. Well, that's backfired on us a little bit because when you wake up in the middle of the night and need to pee, you won't get up because "bunny's sleeping." So you call for one of us until we come take you to the potty and then you go right back to sleep. We keep trying to tell you it's okay to get up and potty and then go back to bed, but so far, no dice. You'll get it eventually, though, I'm sure.
Well, buddy, the next time I write you, you'll officially be a big brother. You're going to be so good at it, I just know it. I'll miss you this week while you're at Grandma's.
I love you more,
Mommy
Baby Doc,
I can hardly believe this week is already the week! It's gone by so fast, and simultaneously slow. But it's almost here, and I am so excited to meet you and snuggle you and just breathe you in.
Your movements have slowed down from big kicks and jabs to slower, more stretch-like movements. You constantly stick a heel or some other pointy appendage out on my right side. If I happen to be laying on that side when it happens, it feels like you're going to slice right through my belly. You still get the hiccups ALL. THE. TIME. and it makes me wonder if you're going to be a hiccup-per when you're born, too.
My blood pressure has stayed steady these last few weeks and I haven't had an abnormal amount of swelling as long as I keep my feet up regularly. Yay for you hanging around in there until you were fully cooked! But, whether you like it or not, you'll be evicted this week. :)
I had my last day of work yesterday before maternity leave. It felt really strange to walk out of there knowing I won't be working for the next six months. But also extremely happy to know that I get to spend that time with you. I won't be able to get that time back, and I'll never regret a day I spent on maternity leave, even if we will be a little short on cash temporarily. Plus, our entire family gets to spend the summer together. Who gets to say that?
So, my little man, the next letter I write you will be written to you, with your real name, though I have a feeling that "Doc" might stick around as a nickname. Your brother isn't going to quite understand what changed all of a sudden, I'm afraid.
Stay strong and healthy and I'll see you on Wednesday!
I love you more,
Momma
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
March Gavinisms
His reaction to us getting out the baby gear (bassinet, bouncer, swing, etc.):
Gavin: "Is my baby here, yet?"
Me: "No, buddy. He's still in my belly."
Gavin: "Oh, maaaaan!"
Using his toy blood pressure cuff on my arm as Grandpa used his real one:
Grandpa: "Looks like it's 126 over 84 today."
Gavin: "Yep. 126 over 84. You be okay."
Obviously wanting a Quik Trip donut after church:
Gavin: "Can we get a donut today?!"
Ryan: "Sure. We can go downstairs at church and get one in the fellowship hall."
Gavin: "I think those donuts have peanuts. We go to Quik Trip?"
As Gavin played with a toy golf club:
Ryan: "Do you know who else likes to golf?"
Gavin: "Yeah."
Ryan: "Who?"
Gavin: "A lot of people, Daddy."
Talking about getting a gift for his baby brother:
Me: "Would you like to buy Baby Doc a present?"
Gavin: "I get one, too?"
Me: "Yes. Baby Doc already got something for you, but you have to wait until he's here to open it."
Gavin: "I get him a present, too?"
Me: "Sure. What would you like to get him?"
Gavin with his finger tapping on his chin: "Hmmmm....a chicken farm!"
Reacting to Daddy being silly:
Ryan: "Know what?"
Gavin: "What?"
Ryan: "Chicken butt."
Gavin: "We don't say chicken butt, Daddy."
Gavin: "Is my baby here, yet?"
Me: "No, buddy. He's still in my belly."
Gavin: "Oh, maaaaan!"
Using his toy blood pressure cuff on my arm as Grandpa used his real one:
Grandpa: "Looks like it's 126 over 84 today."
Gavin: "Yep. 126 over 84. You be okay."
Obviously wanting a Quik Trip donut after church:
Gavin: "Can we get a donut today?!"
Ryan: "Sure. We can go downstairs at church and get one in the fellowship hall."
Gavin: "I think those donuts have peanuts. We go to Quik Trip?"
As Gavin played with a toy golf club:
Ryan: "Do you know who else likes to golf?"
Gavin: "Yeah."
Ryan: "Who?"
Gavin: "A lot of people, Daddy."
Talking about getting a gift for his baby brother:
Me: "Would you like to buy Baby Doc a present?"
Gavin: "I get one, too?"
Me: "Yes. Baby Doc already got something for you, but you have to wait until he's here to open it."
Gavin: "I get him a present, too?"
Me: "Sure. What would you like to get him?"
Gavin with his finger tapping on his chin: "Hmmmm....a chicken farm!"
Reacting to Daddy being silly:
Ryan: "Know what?"
Gavin: "What?"
Ryan: "Chicken butt."
Gavin: "We don't say chicken butt, Daddy."
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Date Day
Occasionally, Gavin and I go on “dates.” It’s usually something small. Dinner out, a movie, sometimes it’s as simple as going to the grocery store just the two of us. Whatever our outing, Gavin knows Daddy is not allowed (and is sure to tell him if he shows any interest in tagging along).
The closer I get to the end of this pregnancy, the more I realize my one-on-one time with Gavin is dwindling. I’m still going to try to make the extra effort to spend time just him and me once Baby Doc arrives, but I’ve never mothered two kids before, and I have no idea what things will be like, or how much time there really will be that’s just “us.”
When I saw the weather this week was predicted to be more balmy and summer-like than end-of-winter-like, I cashed in a PTO day and declared yesterday “Date Day.”
We watched cartoons, got creative at Paradise Park, played outside in the sun, got messy, snuggled, napped, ate ice cream, people-watched, and just had a generally fabulous day.
Even with a few to-dos still not complete, I’m so glad I took the time to stop, relax and be silly with my favorite little three-year-old. I wouldn’t trade that extra time with him yesterday for anything.
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| Snuggling and watching morning cartoons. |
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| "I have a beard like Daddy!" Face-painting at Paradise Park. |
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| "Mommy, I want take your picture. You make silly face." |
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| Brrr! That ice cream is cold! |
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| Pretty much the best date ever. |
Monday, March 5, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Three
Three. THREE! How is my baby three years old already?
I watched him today--singing, laughing, playing--just being his normal goofy self, and I was awed by how much he's changed and learned in the last three years. He came into our world a tiny little bundle of squawks and cries, and today, he made me laugh so hard I cried.
He's a conversationalist, a sweet-natured, ornery, goofy kid who could change the world with a single smile. I am so proud to be his momma.
Happy Birthday, Monkey!
I love you more.
I watched him today--singing, laughing, playing--just being his normal goofy self, and I was awed by how much he's changed and learned in the last three years. He came into our world a tiny little bundle of squawks and cries, and today, he made me laugh so hard I cried.
He's a conversationalist, a sweet-natured, ornery, goofy kid who could change the world with a single smile. I am so proud to be his momma.
Happy Birthday, Monkey!
I love you more.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Oh Yeah, This.
Yesterday, I spent two hours in Labor & Delivery for a non-stress test. At my doctor's appointment, my blood pressure was up more and the doctor was worried. Frankly, so was I. With Gavin, my blood pressure climbed up a little more at each appointment until the doctor finally said, "That's it. You're having this baby tomorrow." Fortunately, that was only 8 days early. Gavin was born perfectly healthy and my blood pressure decreased as soon as I gave birth. No big deal.
But this? This is way too early to have Baby Doc. As soon as the doctor said "non-stress test" and "head to Labor & Delivery," I freaked out. The last time I'd heard that, I had a baby the next day. I called Ryan and my mom who both met me at the hospital and helped calm me down for the test. They drew my blood, hooked me up to the blood pressure cuff, and I laid there waiting, praying that I could will my blood pressure down.
Each time the machine tested me, my blood pressure went down a little more. By the end of the test, it was even at a level that's considered low. Thank God.
They sent me home with orders to rest and check in with my doctor next week. Now I'm just trying to figure out how I can con my blood pressure into staying down for the next 3 1/2 weeks so my little guy will be fully baked. My usual go-to method would be wine. Damn that "no drinking while pregnant" rule. Any suggestions?
But this? This is way too early to have Baby Doc. As soon as the doctor said "non-stress test" and "head to Labor & Delivery," I freaked out. The last time I'd heard that, I had a baby the next day. I called Ryan and my mom who both met me at the hospital and helped calm me down for the test. They drew my blood, hooked me up to the blood pressure cuff, and I laid there waiting, praying that I could will my blood pressure down.
Each time the machine tested me, my blood pressure went down a little more. By the end of the test, it was even at a level that's considered low. Thank God.
They sent me home with orders to rest and check in with my doctor next week. Now I'm just trying to figure out how I can con my blood pressure into staying down for the next 3 1/2 weeks so my little guy will be fully baked. My usual go-to method would be wine. Damn that "no drinking while pregnant" rule. Any suggestions?
Thursday, March 1, 2012
A Letter to My Child(ren)
Gavin,
You are our constant source of comic relief, buddy. You chatter constantly about everything under the sun. It's like a stream of consciousness flowing from your mouth and you can barely keep up with it. Sometimes it's singing, sometimes it's just talking, but most of the time it's pure silliness. I love that you're such a goofball, because now we both make Daddy shake his head at us. :) Lately, if one of us does something you think is silly, you shake your head at us and say, "Ohhhh, Mommy" or "Ohhhh, Daddy." It's like you're already embarrassed by us. Apparently, we're doing our duty as parents.
You're also obsessed with containers right now. You put toys, necklaces, underwear right out of the dryer, etc. into one container only to promptly dump it into another container. This goes on for quite a while usually. You could keep yourself occupied for hours.
You've also been concerned with getting lost lately. A few months ago, a little girl went missing in Kansas City and her picture was all over the news and the billboards we passed every day on the way to daycare. When you asked, "Who that baby?" I told you she was lost and the police were going to bring her back to her parents. Since then, every time we see a police car or a fire truck, you say, "If I get lost, policemens and firemens bring me back to Mommy and Daddy." I guess it's good for you to learn who to go to for help, but I don't want you to become overly worried about it. I worry enough for the whole family.
More and more, you insist on doing things all by yourself, including going to the bathroom (which you're a pro at now, by the way!), putting on your socks and shoes, putting on your gloves and coat, etc. We constantly hear, "No! I do it!" and we're trying hard to let you try all those things yourself. Even when your socks end up backwards and inside out. The look of pride on your face is so worth it.
You're going to be three this weekend and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. My baby is so grown up now, and I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
I love you more,
Mommy
Baby Doc,
It's not much longer until we meet you now! 27 days or less, actually. That has me partly panicked, but mostly ecstatic. There's still so much on my to-do list that it feels a little overwhelming right now, but I know it will get done, and even if it doesn't, the clothes washing and painting can come later.
My blood pressure was up at my last doctor's appointment, which also has me a bit worried. I'm really hoping I don't become pre-eclamptic like I did when I was pregnant with Gavin. There's not much I can do differently besides rest more, though, and Daddy is great about making me do that in the evenings.
Speaking of the evenings, you move so much at night. It's become a source of entertainment for your Daddy and me. Last week, we'd put Gavin to bed and were watching TV when you pushed so hard against me that my entire belly was lopsided. It was like you were fighting for more room and then finally gave up and my belly went back to it's normal roundedness.
With 27 days to go, I can't imagine getting any bigger than I already am. Pregnancy is getting consistently uncomfortable now, which is making me cross my fingers that you'll decide to come a little earlier than 27 days from now. That, and the fact that I just can't wait to see your face, count your fingers and toes, and just breathe you in. I'm so ready for that. It makes 27 days sound like an eternity.
I love you more,
Mommy
You are our constant source of comic relief, buddy. You chatter constantly about everything under the sun. It's like a stream of consciousness flowing from your mouth and you can barely keep up with it. Sometimes it's singing, sometimes it's just talking, but most of the time it's pure silliness. I love that you're such a goofball, because now we both make Daddy shake his head at us. :) Lately, if one of us does something you think is silly, you shake your head at us and say, "Ohhhh, Mommy" or "Ohhhh, Daddy." It's like you're already embarrassed by us. Apparently, we're doing our duty as parents.
You're also obsessed with containers right now. You put toys, necklaces, underwear right out of the dryer, etc. into one container only to promptly dump it into another container. This goes on for quite a while usually. You could keep yourself occupied for hours.
You've also been concerned with getting lost lately. A few months ago, a little girl went missing in Kansas City and her picture was all over the news and the billboards we passed every day on the way to daycare. When you asked, "Who that baby?" I told you she was lost and the police were going to bring her back to her parents. Since then, every time we see a police car or a fire truck, you say, "If I get lost, policemens and firemens bring me back to Mommy and Daddy." I guess it's good for you to learn who to go to for help, but I don't want you to become overly worried about it. I worry enough for the whole family.
More and more, you insist on doing things all by yourself, including going to the bathroom (which you're a pro at now, by the way!), putting on your socks and shoes, putting on your gloves and coat, etc. We constantly hear, "No! I do it!" and we're trying hard to let you try all those things yourself. Even when your socks end up backwards and inside out. The look of pride on your face is so worth it.
You're going to be three this weekend and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. My baby is so grown up now, and I can't tell you how proud that makes me.
I love you more,
Mommy
Baby Doc,
It's not much longer until we meet you now! 27 days or less, actually. That has me partly panicked, but mostly ecstatic. There's still so much on my to-do list that it feels a little overwhelming right now, but I know it will get done, and even if it doesn't, the clothes washing and painting can come later.
My blood pressure was up at my last doctor's appointment, which also has me a bit worried. I'm really hoping I don't become pre-eclamptic like I did when I was pregnant with Gavin. There's not much I can do differently besides rest more, though, and Daddy is great about making me do that in the evenings.
Speaking of the evenings, you move so much at night. It's become a source of entertainment for your Daddy and me. Last week, we'd put Gavin to bed and were watching TV when you pushed so hard against me that my entire belly was lopsided. It was like you were fighting for more room and then finally gave up and my belly went back to it's normal roundedness.
With 27 days to go, I can't imagine getting any bigger than I already am. Pregnancy is getting consistently uncomfortable now, which is making me cross my fingers that you'll decide to come a little earlier than 27 days from now. That, and the fact that I just can't wait to see your face, count your fingers and toes, and just breathe you in. I'm so ready for that. It makes 27 days sound like an eternity.
I love you more,
Mommy
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